In-or-Out-of-Tune?

Our adorable grandkids often like to play (or rather ‘play at’) their Grampa’s baby grand piano - actually a parlor grand, to be technically accurate.  Their techniques range from full-fisted pounding (ouch!) to non-practiced fingering, to something close to creative genius playing-by-ear – but in every case it is evident the piano keys are in tune with one another.

This is only because we hire a professional tuner to visit twice a year and “fine-tune” it. 

Yesterday as my mind entertained an analogy, I got to thinking about particular relationships and how in-or-out-of-tune they seem to be – not in the sense of individuals being perfect people (which we all know is impossible in every case), but rather in the sense of people relating in a satisfying rather than discordant way.  

What makes for an in-tune relationship, anyway?  One that is comfortable, dependable and, to use the piano analogy, harmonious? I think it has to do with several things (among others, I’m sure) that convey, “I care about you”:

1.     Active listening. An in-tune person asks questions and/or seeks input with wide-range antennae, listens with his/her heart, and gives totally undivided attention to catch all the details, nuances, and even body language. 

2.     Attentiveness. An in-tune person pays attention to others’ thoughts and circumstances, is pro-active in initiating, is sold out to relationship before issues, makes eye contact, stops what he/she is doing to pay attention to the other person, includes the other person in his/her schedule.

3.     Intimacy.  An in-tune person receives the other person without placing limits, comes alongside empathetically to shares in the life of his/her friend in a detailed way – the good, the bad, and the ugly…the celebrations, the defeats…the whole journey.  Nothing is too awkward, embarrassing, or condemning to address together.

It seems to me that it is so easy to become out-of-tune with each other (sour notes).  When this happens, we all lose.  Sadly, we may even stay out-of-tune for a while resulting in a cacophony of distortion.  Then we must submit to the Divine Tuner’s twist on our hearts to bring us back into tune with Him first, and then each other.