While in Mexico I asked lots of questions of our son and his
colleagues. Often I received the same answer:
“God knows.”
For example, “I wonder if the current orphans will revert back
to a lower-class life, or reach for bigger goals, when they’re old enough to
leave?” (The voice of worry.)
“God knows.”
“Will the owners of the new home built by the volunteers be
open to further contact?” (The voice of control.)
“God knows.”
“Finances…can you be sure donations will continue to cover your
expenses to operate the orphanage?” (The
voice of insecurity/fear.)
“God knows.”
I’ve been home for a few days, and am only beginning to grasp
the impact of our trip. However, I
expect a profound focus to continue to unfold: the contrast between default human
behaviors (like worry, control, and fear), and intentional choices made beneath
the umbrella of “God knows.”
Two weeks in another culture pulled me inward to more honestly
assess how I tick. As I watched others
navigate circumstances vastly different from mine, I also realized how their foundational
needs mirrored my own: things like acceptance, comfort, accountability, patience,
forgiveness, insight, and guidance. It
came clear to me that despite backgrounds and situations, we as humans can
become disabled and grope in the dark of “default behaviors” that eventually become
habits: greed, anger, disappointment, envy, worry, sloth, and others that crimp our lives into something small and dark. On the other
hand, life can enlarge when we intentionally follow divine light that enables courage,
generosity, gentleness, happiness, and diligence no matter the circumstance.
It comes down to God’s mercy – and our choice.
Our new friends, an endearing Mexican family committed to
Christ, could have been pessimistic, angry, and even despairing. They lived in
what seemed an unrealistically cramped home that lacked running water and whatever
middle-class, and even impoverished, Americans expect. However, they not only were accepting of their
station, but grateful – clean and well-kept, consistently cheerful, optimistic,
and hopeful. Faith coupled with
simplicity had fostered modest humility (I’m referring to submissiveness to God
rather than degradation, for their hearts-and-souls were satisfied and
content), a virtue often lost in our American culture that fosters arrogant
entitlement and excessive self-importance. They were sustained by God’s great love, and
that was enough.
At the orphanage, I watched the boys’ pain of abandonment being
healed by sacrificial, committed, optimistic, protecting, guiding teachers, mentors,
and supporters. Such shared God-love promises
to remediate their pain and restore the wounds in their deepest hearts over
time, mending even core brokenness.
As a spectator to the homebuilding project, I was blown away
by the volunteers’ depth of purpose and intentional sacrifice, and the
recipients’ equally profound gratitude. No embarrassment, apology, manipulation or
privilege on either side…just a family’s desperate need co-existing with the love
of a bunch of college kids willing to work really hard to meet it.
I’ve returned home with a fuller view of humanity’s common
longing for healing and optimism, and the desire for “God knows” to become my personal
(spoken as well as internal) response to life’s unanswerable questions. I more
clearly see the value of acceptance over resistance, and the nobility of
generosity. I want God’s compassion and
generosity - His forms of active redemption – to motivate me, and my own self-focus
and/or self-protection to diminish.
God’s Spirit functions around the globe in all kinds of
situations, supporting wisdom, reverence, strength, counsel, understanding,
respect, knowledge, and…in a single word…healing. By choice I can embrace these provisions in
my own corner of the world, and elect to mercifully carry light into darkness
(which is also everywhere), or I can revert to defaults that come naturally – especially
self-absorbed pride that manifests in worry, control, and/or fear.
As my response to this profound visit to Mexico ferments over time, I will continue to come back to two things. First, God knows. And secondly, by His grace I can choose His
Light moment-by-moment, even in the small things I think, say, and do - maybe
especially in the small things that are significant in some way to a larger
story of redemption unfolding on earth.
* * * * * * * *
Can't resist posting just a few more miscellaneous pictures!
Here's a common country road lined with unmatched fence posts, the approach to the ranch (orphanage), and a few random houses in the nearby colonia (colony).
Sweet 4-month-old Porphyria (staff baby):
Charter fishing trip that launched from the port in Ensenada:
Orphanage chapel:
Icon of Jesus on the iconostasis inside the chapel:
Cute/happy/talented musicians at the beach:
Guarded steel wall separating Mexico and the US of A - note the San Diego skyline in the background:
Fritz sr's birthday cake...and plenty of boys eager to eat it:
Volunteer homebuilders wearing shirts with quotes from Paul's letter to the Galatians:
Coffeehouse, snack bar, and store for visiting homebuilding volunteers (painted by our own midwestern artist, Ms. Greene, when she visited the orphanage last June):
Catholic monastery in wine country:
Shrine to Mary along a country road near the monastery pictured above:
Dinner in wine country:
Purdue Boilers in Mexico:
The cutest, fast-Spanish-talking 3-year-old, little Chuy...love this kid:
Farewell! Sign just outside the gate of St. Innocent Orphanage and Project Mexico:
