The Conversational Ball Game

A conversation is a monologue unless there’s back-and-forth-ness, and to play the conversational game there has to be a pitcher and a catcher. You say something, and I catch it. I return a comment, and you catch it.

I’ve noticed a distinct disposition in myself to shut down and pull away when I’m thrown something in the context of anger, and to overreact and try to step in and assume responsibility when thrown something in the context of anxiety. These predispositions probably were shaped in my childhood, but it annoys me that they’re still in place. And the ball doesn’t even have to be thrown at ME – it can be tossed to someone else – and I still respond internally in the old automatic ways.

On the other hand, I seem to open up and receive whatever is thrown with an honest intent to CONNECT, even if the content is very difficult. As long as the other player is interested in sharing the real deal and hearing my real deal, and both parties want to work toward mutual understanding (and hard work it is, sometimes), I’m good to go. But I need to work on figuring out a way to manage those inevitable curve balls that are thrown my way, as well as how to avoid sending them myself.