Saturday, February 8, 2014

Kooky Stuff




Sometimes funny things just happen in short comic strip vignettes that pop up without warning. 

* * *

Stringy Teeth

I gnaw on the inner side of a rind of a fresh pineapple after cutting off most of the flesh, and strings of the fruit gets stuck between several upper teeth.  They feel like giant obstructions, although actually are too skinny for my fingernail to dislodge.  I smile and wear them proudly, cascading yellow strings dangling like a mossy, grungy advertisement for dental floss. Lovely.

* * *

Silent Alarm

My hearing aid charger blasts an annoying buzzer as a warning that it is malfunctioning, evidently like a high-pitched, pulsing Gestapo siren.  I can’t hear these particular tones and so am blithely clueless while they drive everyone else crazy. 

“Your hearing thing is buzzing!” my husband announces.

“What?”

“Your charger – it’s going off!”

“WHAT?”

Evidently the engineer who designed this piece of equipment didn’t think about the fact that they typical hearing disabled person would be unable to hear the high pitch he chose as an alert. (Duh)

* * *

Typo

A friend emails and asks about baking a certain muffin containing almond flower as an ingredient.  For a split second I picture delicate blooms on an almond tree, sort of like cherry blossoms (I’ve seen pictures of almond groves), only dried, ground into powder, and in a shaker like what is used for spices.  Then I come to my senses and realize no, that’s ridiculous.  She means flour, not flower.

* * *

That Look

We’re driving down the road several days ago, and my husband says, “So, you haven’t asked how I’m feeling today.”

“So, how are you feeling today?” I ask, obliging him.

He doesn’t say a word.  Sober-faced, he pulls a rubber finger puppet from the front pocket of his sweatshirt and sticks it in my face.  “Like this!”

Awash in my own laughter, I can’t talk, but snap a documentary photo with my iPhone.



Finally I croak, “Is that all?  Is there more? What else have you noticed?”

“Ok, maybe like this, too.”  Click.














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