She Listens

I wonder how often we hear each other’s hearts, those deep soul-voices that transcend spoken communication?  Bonded friends who invite disclosure, and listen with their whole selves, are priceless.  Heart-to-heart.  I am blessed with such a friend.

Listening is often the most we can do for another because it says, “What matters to you also matters to me.”  However, instead of listening we often hurry a response, and sometimes even interrupt and force our voice over another’s.  We’re so wrapped up in our own thoughts that it is almost impossible to listen well and with depth.  We want to be heard, and then to help fix everyone else.  This is unfortunate, not to mention wrong.

Even sincere advice intended to remediate a problem can fall flat, especially if forced or hurried.   It’s harsh, like a slap of plywood falling on concrete, and can shut down openness in a split second. On the other hand, love listens hard and long to the other person before it speaks.  It takes time to hear the terrain of the true heart first, and when the time is right, to speak gently with wisdom in an encouraging, rather than prescriptive, way. 

Of course it’s not easy or automatic to hear the subtle nuances of another person’s heart.  Bits and pieces commonly show up over time in inflection and intonation, body language and gesture, eye contact and plain old chemistry.  It takes practice.  For my friend however, who happens to be blind, listening gut-level seems almost intuitive.  Perhaps she is not distracted by visual cues and so can more easily focus, but I think it’s more than that.  She’s decided this is the way she wants to live, with God’s help.

“I can see how your dreams are pulled in that direction.  Keep open to prayerful answers,” she said in her email today.  She’d heard me in an earlier message – listened to my heart and affirmed it with practiced sensitivity, then released it to soar and trust God's plan.  This is empowering friendship.  I am grateful, and hope to be the same kind of friend to her.