Old Folks Sampler

Changes come to the aging in all shapes and sizes, like Forest Gump’s box of chocolates when you never know what you’re going to get.  However, some are pretty much standard, like the normal crème-filled truffles and nut clusters included in everyone’s sampler.  Here are a few golden-oldie-goodies that are true for almost every one I know in my age group.

Growing older means you need more props.  These assists could include many things, like orthopedic shoes, bunion pads, hearing aids and hearing aid batteries, trifocals, pills and capsules.  Usually you accumulate surplus supplies of various dosages of the aforementioned pills and capsules  – some of the current ones to be taken first thing in the morning, before meals, during meals, after meals, between meals, and at bedtime.  But who knows when you might need those other (outdated) dosages that cost too much and are therefore too valuable to throw away? For some older folks, more props also means more top-notch-quality food.  More green leafy vegetables.  Kale salad.  Spinach smoothies.  Things like that.

Being a senior involves forgetting, and laughing at yourself when you forget: rewinding, repeating, replaying and being okay with it.  Recently I looked at a grandchild in a state of panic, unable to think of the child’s name. The trick is to consider your brain as a tired, toothless ancient who needs some extra TLC, bless its heart, and then treat yourself like you would a dear friend with dementia.  Cheer yourself on as you would her, even while you’re losing it (because most likely you are).

An older individual is wise to tiptoe on the persistent winter ice like a sadly repressed geriatric ballerina.  After all, Nancy fell and crushed her wrist, and you want to avoid a similar fate if at all possible. PLEASE.

In the economy of aging, you see through a lens labeled less.  You have less strength and stamina, and you often want and expect less. The old saying that insists less is more is right; it refocuses you away from cataracts and jello legs to heavenly realities (even here and now) where more is everlasting.

Old is sometimes fun, and funny.  When you’re old, you can play the trump card and get away with it.  “I think I’ll decline the invitation this time – I’m just getting too old.”  No one contests this or condemns you for this, and there’s no concern about running out of cards.  They’re inexhaustible.  You can keep printing them on invisible paper with invisible ink, like fantasy counterfeit money, for as long as you want.  It’s great.

On the flip side, you can initiate boldly, or talk too long about the good old days and how they used to be so awesome, and get away with that, too.  Young people can be clueless about what it means to be old, and about the life you lived in prehistoric times, but they usually don’t expect old people to be up-to-date with their techno-wizard lives.  They understand you’ve lived a primordial existence. This is fortunate.

Sometimes when you get old it’s easy to worry about things that never bothered you before.  You’re keenly aware of your own prominent vulnerabilities, and begin to see everyone else in this same light even though they’re actually only as young and reckless as you once were. Remember: you once drove too fast on slick roads; you demanded non-stop high performance from yourself and everyone else while burning the candle at both ends.  Remember: you survived to tell the tale.